List of October funnies

IB:  My doctor says I need to eat more junk food.

IB:  I'm allergic to heavy.

IB:  I want to play violin forever and eat pizza forever!  (Itty Bitty and Little Bit both are taking violin lessons.  Their little violin is hilarious--looks like a toy--if only it only cost as much as a toy!)

LB (while eating supper):  Can you save my food because I have to go sing and dance?

Our friend, Miss Darlene, fixed Itty Bitty a drink and said, "Did you say 'thank you'?" to which IB responded, "I'm going to start my manners day after tomorrow."

Little Bit explained to me all about how crayons are made, how "they" melt this stuff (wax) and mix it together.  Then, she said, it's kind of the same way they make bubble gum.  I said, "Oh, wow--how did you learn all this about making crayons?"  She answered matter of factly, "Oh, well, we giggled it on Miss Darlene's phone."  I said, "Oh, well what makes you think that it's like making bubble gum?" to which she said, "We giggled how to make bubble gum on her phone too."

Worrying about her future children

LB (age:  not quite 5):  "Mama, I need you to save all of my toys and my bed so that my children will have something to play with and somewhere to sleep when we come see you when I grow up.  I also need you to save IB's stuff too for her children.  And...I need you to save the big beds in the other room so that I will have somewhere to sleep."  Hoarder in the making??? 

Turkey Sandwich

LB:  "For lunch I want a turkey sandwich with pickles and cheese and no turkey."
Me:  "So you want a turkey sandwich with no turkey."
LB with straight face:  "Yes, M'am."

First Stitches

While I was at a real wedding, the children were at home with Daddy playing "wedding" when the Little Bit slipped on her white afghan veil while dancing and busted her chin on the tile floor.  I got home in time to rush the whole fam to the after-hours clinic.  She handled the whole thing like such a grown-up.  The next day while eating breakfast before church, Daddy said we needed to think up a good story to tell people about what happened.  (He said it needed to be more exciting than, "I was playing wedding." ...not that we encourage lying!)  They came up with lots of hilarious ones, but the best one was when LB said, "We could tell people I fell out of an airplane." 

Bad Hair Day

LB:  "We put conditioner in my sister's hair so that it won't get wrinkled."

More Sound of Music comments

The Little Bit from her bed:  "Daddy, will you please bring me a sip of water? . . .  Daddy, would you sing How do we solve a problem like Mary M?"  (her name instead of "Maria" as the song goes)

The Sound of Music

Itty Bitty singing "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music:  "When the dog stings, when the bee bites . . . and then I don't feeeeeeeeel  soooooooooooooo much!"